A Mother's Self-Awareness & Daily-Life-Practice
- Didileia
- May 7
- 5 min read
Updated: Jun 16
Following my path of least resistance within.
I continue to do my inner work of cultivating my joyful sense-of-self with value and purpose for my wholeness and how I add to life.
I remain aware that what is gifted to me by my ancestry is for me to appreciate, use with self-assuredness, competency, and refining evolution, and be self-responsible with to choose, create, and craft my personal experience of life. This is what it means to walk through life with dignity, self-empowerment, and no"ego" as a healing addition to the greater movement of life. I am cultivating feeling neither superiority or inferiority; just gratitude and honour for what I have to work with and the individual role I play. I also take great joy in noticing and uplifting the natural intelligence of others, and trying to work together to contribute our individual gifts and strengths towards the common goal of well-being.
Judgement of others is an inner challenge to harmonise through my awareness, understanding, and focus on my own choices, letting others be to navigate their personal experience of life. We humans all fall short; we all have our "cross to bear". Compassion is my worthy inner work, as well as using my voice to speak my own truth with unwavering self-trust, gentleness, and clarity.
Not Distracting Myself from My Path and Purpose
I have recently experienced the rising up and release of deep, long-held grief and anger that doesn't feel comfortable. I have been cultivating my practice of keeping distance from this emotional tidal wave or powerful river of feeling to notice, understand, and learn what I need to learn. It has felt emotionally hard some days but I am mindful that it has served as important experiential learning for me in mental, emotional, and spiritual self-awareness and self-leadership. Of course, my physical choices are driven by how I feel so I have been keenly aware of this also in terms of what I choose to eat and drink (which can often become destructive outlets for coping). Putting my feet on the earth and being in my garden, practising Qi Gong, taking quiet walks, singing mantra, writing, and playing the piano have been healing channels for digestion of this feeling; to hand it over to the greater forces of Life and Nature that are more benevolent than me, to express it out of my body and let it go.
My awareness is to not misuse my own mind to focus on other people's choices. Instead, I must remain open-hearted and mentally clear and aware with my senses to be self-responsible about what I do each day, and the choices I make that impact myself and my family. I have been learning to not deliberately distract myself, which often becomes a self-denigration and inner criticism, allowing a sense of giving up when I am following a personal integrated path of Spirit and Nature.
This is how I always experience having regard for other people's wisdom, and a desire for approval from others within family for my own wisdom. It is my personal path to walk as I seek my own truth, not follow by blind faith, use my body as my faithful guide, and continue to deepen my self-trust and use my inner wisdom. My experience is that this is a difficult path to walk as a mother-heart within family.
Daily Cultivation of My Connection to Spirit and Nature
Meanwhile, the autumn sunrise and sunset have been magical, casting watercolour washes of deep oranges and pinks across the dawn and dusk skies. It is also wondrous to observe the clear night sky, observing Mother Moon in her swift change of phases, and blankets of stars. It is a truly beautiful, wonderful world that we live in! Majesty and awe are what come to mind and I never have to look far to be uplifted in my spirit from within my heart and mind. I value my five senses to be able to hear, touch, see, taste, and smell our Earth that upholds us all.
Supporting My Children Without Compromising My Inner Harmony
If my children asked me I would say "Make daily effort on what truly matters to you, and live in a way that keeps you well".
But who ever asks a mother, a woman, a wife, a middle-born, a half-dark-skinned person? Unfortunately, this has been my lived experience and the life-path I walk. This is why using my artistry to express my inner wisdom is the most harmonious way to teach and lead healing change.
My father is from a matriarchal Papua New Guinean society of warrior/teacher lineage. My mother is from a patriarchal Australian society of merchant/labourer lineage. I have chosen to marry into an Australian merchant/labourer lineage. It has been immensely helpful to my peace of heart and mind to understand these dharmic roles, and laws of how warriors and teachers help each other evolve, and labourers and merchants help each other evolve. Now I have awareness to understand how I might ruffle merchant/labourer feathers as a warrior/teacher spirit when I follow my own path which is contrary to what others want or experience is true for them.
Spiritual Autonomy
No human owns another human's spirit! This much I am clear about! And clearly, each person's life-opportunity belongs to them and it is their choice how they spend it!
I have autonomy and sovereignty over my own Spirit and Nature. My life is my heART and what I craft each day with what I have to work with from within and around me. And so, like this, I walk through my life-time.
Walking my talk, BEing and DOing what I speak of is the only way to lead. My clarity is that I can only clear the way and light a path of well-being to follow by living what I am requesting of others. This is what integrity means to me. This is what being worthy means to me. I am my only true judge and juror, and my body is my trusted guide - my life-long instrument for my spirit's conscious awareness, self-expression, and personal experience of life.
I include my eldest daughter's illustrations in this article because she is one of my inspirations for following her path of least resistance from within. She has bold inner courage to walk her life-path with personal integrity and make her own effort towards crafting her life-experience. She is a gifted artist with bold, instinctive self-expression that is unapologetic and true to her spirit. My son and youngest daughter also continue to inspire me by their natural spirit and intelligence which I try to support and uplift.
First-borns are often handed the largest karmic load from parents which can be strenuous for them to resolve. And youngest-borns are usually powerful change-makers who also require support. My quietly courageous middle-born always has my support for her path also.
My three children motivate me to stay true to my own spirit and nature and personal experience of life. I use them as my external barometers of right-path even though they can be my harshest critics sometimes - the refiner's fire of diversity within the wholeness of family - a mother's role to nourish individual and collective purpose from pure love.
